I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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