the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
