Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
