i permit you to call me
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
