also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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