she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
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One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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