He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
