bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
