I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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