You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
