we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.