All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
