Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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