The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
