I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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