found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
