do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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