dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize