benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize