i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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