How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
