I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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