obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
3 2 1 whiskey
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
