she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
