took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
