apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
