I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you will always have a special place in my vag
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
