can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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