I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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