What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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