My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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