I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
