I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
