eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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