They should really pass out barf bags in church
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
