It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
