i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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