After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize