She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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