living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
