At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
