then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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