my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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