My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
