# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
