Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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