we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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