I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
