so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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