we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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