Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
