So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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