when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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