9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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