So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
