In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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