Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
