Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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