did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
