Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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