so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
